Separating Personal Feelings from Your Job

Whether you are a teacher or just another person working hard on the job, we all need to know what it means to separate our personal feelings and our personal lives from our jobs. This in a nutshell is called work ethics. Being able to separate how you feel “personally” from your “professional” job can be challenging. And, so can maintaining an identity that is complete separate from your work. Let’s be honest. When we go to work, a big part of our personality and our personal feelings go with us. However, it is in everyone’s best interest if we can separate our personal lives and opinions from our job.

Put Personal Feelings Aside

Let’s imagine that you have had a bad day at home. You go to work, and intentionally or unintentionally, you make the next person you come into contact with have a bad day too. You are short with your coworkers. You “go off” on them for no reason or for some minor infraction. Stop for a minute and examine your behavior. Why do you do this?

You respond the way you did because you brought your bad day from home to work with you. And, this ISN’T how it’s supposed to be. Your personal feelings should not dictate your behavior on your job. You must be able to separate your personal feelings from your job. So, how do you distance yourself from your feelings?

Go to Your Calm Place

Yes. I said it. Go to your calm place. Take yourself out of your “feelings.” Take yourself away from “your opinion”. Instead, take a deep breath and mentally go to a place that brings you peace.

First Things First

Everyone has an opinion. However, your place of work is not the place to express all of them. This may sound harass, but you are there to work. You are not there to impose your beliefs or opinions on your co-workers. So, it is important that you focus of what is more important. If at any time you strongly disagree with what is going on at your job, it is time to find another job. Don’t work somewhere were you feel uncomfortable or that goes against your core beliefs.

Limit Workplace Relationships

Limit the number of “work friends” that you have. This will help you to keep a healthy perspective of your job. If all of your friends work at the same job that you work at, then inevitably your conversations will turn to work even when you are at home. And, before you know it, you’ll be on sensitive topics. In short, avoid forming too many friendships in the workplace.

Next, try not to discuss your job once you leave work. Try to leave work issues at work. It can be tempting to vent to your teacher friends about that annoying student. It can make you feel better to talk about the injustice of those new district policies. However, try to find a more relaxing topic to talk about with your friends. Leave work at work.

Go Home on Time

Stop hanging around in the break room. Stop staying over to “pow wow” about your day or what happened in the cafeteria. Instead, head straight to your car. And, once you are inside your car, clear your mind of those work-related episodes.

Set Boundaries

It can be hard, but it is imperative that you set clear boundaries between your work life and your home life. This includes set strict hours for your parents to contact you. It is a bad idea to have parents call you once you are at home. I know teachers do it. I know you may think it is okay. However, this is a gray area. You are not at work. Thus, you not protected if something should happen or go wrong.

Limit the number of calls you will take from colleagues after hours. Limit the amount of time you will spend on those calls. Again, your conversations will almost inevitably turn to work. And, remember, you want to leave work at work.

Monitor Your Body Language

Be careful with your body language. Your unspoken words can speak volumes. So, try your best to control your facial expression. Don’t turn into a lemon when you see that coworker you don’t like. Your students are watching you, and they can easily pick up on negative vibes. And, they would love to exploit those vibes and use them to their advantage.

Be Aware of the Dangers of Social Media

Avoid any type of social media post that can be misconstrued. That means when you are annoyed, you can’t just rush to social media and rant. These rants can…and will…come back to haunt you later. It is best to keep your opinions about your job, school district, or coworker to yourself.

Small Towns & Personal Feelings

I am from the south, and I live in a small town. The thing about small towns is that almost everybody knows everybody else. Thus, everyone knows everyone else’s business. And, this makes it easy to bring personal feelings to work. But, as professionals, we shouldn’t do that. There has to be a separation.

Example of Perfect Separation of Work and Home

One of my best friends told me about a lady at her job. This lady was over hiring. There was a position available at the job, and her ex-husband’s new wife put in for the position. The woman looked over her former husband’s new wife’s application, and she scheduled the woman for an interview. The new wife didn’t know that the person she would be interviewing with was her husband’s former wife. Everyone at the company knew that the new wife had caused the divorce. So, they were all waiting to see what would happen when the new wife showed up for the job interview.

A few of the employees even asked the former wife why she was interviewing her former husband’s wife. They all assumed it was for the sheer pleasure of torturing the lady.

However, after the interview, the former wife decided to hire the new wife. Needless to say, everyone at the job was shocked. They asked the former wife why she would hire the woman. Some of them even assumed it was so she could later fire the new wife. Everyone reminded the former wife that this lady had broken up her home, and she’s married to her former husband. They harped on the fact that the new wife had destroyed her marriage.

In response, the former wife stated that she was hiring the woman because she was the “best person for the job”. She went on to say that she wasn’t focusing on what had happened to her “personally”. She had put her “personal” feeling aside and did what was best for the company.  

It can be hard to separate how you feel from who you are at work. However, it can be done if you make a conscious effort to leave your personal feelings and opinions in the car and make your job your priority while you are at work.

Other Articles to Read:

​Managing Your Emotions at Work

Don’t Take Work Stress Home with You

Other Videos to Watch:

Professionalism

Happy Teaching!!!